I was going to start a food log, and just thinking about that makes me cringe. Lets take today, for example. I ate like crap. All day. Crap. Why? I didn't have time. Woke up, have baby in arms. Drink coffee (Mom bought us a Keurig, you can do that one-handed easily). Grab a cookie to eat as I'm doing stuff. Grab another cookie. They happen to be right on the counter. Easy to grab.
Next thing I know we're off running errands. I'm really hungry. We're broke, though, so no drive-thru for us. First stop, however, is Great Harvest Bread Co. The kids have coloring sheets to turn in for a free cookie. We also get a loaf of Challas and I get a muffin to tie me over until lunch.
After errands we get home and the kids are hungry so the older ones make themselves food while I deal with a grumpy baby. I grab a slice of challas to eat while I deal with the baby. And a Diet Coke. And another slice of bread. Oh, and a cookie. Maybe it was two.
Ahh, quiet. Finally some peace. Youngers are napping, olders are playing outside. I sit down and relax. Finally get some work done, posting some items on Amazon to sell. Baby wakes about 20 minutes later. Then the toddler. Now it is time to start dinner.
Need to hurry, the baby is super fussy tonight and won't stand to be put down for more than a few minutes. I make the kids tortellini with some olive oil and pepper, little mozarella on top. Peas and sliced cucumber. Glass of milk to the side. Baby is screaming, so I nurse him. Cleaning up the table I take a few bites of tortellini. Time to try to get the two youngest down for bed.
Got them both down, I grab another slice of bread to go with my small serving of leftover egg noodles with beef and green beans. I grab a Fresca to drink as well. I veg out on Facebook while I eat. I'm still hungry.
I normally don't eat so much damn bread. And the Fresca is normally not around, either. And I try to eat at least a bowl of cereal in the morning, but sometimes that doesn't work. I'll probably pig out on various convenience food tonight because I am feeling ravenous. I am breastfeeding so that just makes me so hungry all the time. When I don't get enough to eat I just feel like I need to eat as much as I can get my hands on.
During pregnancy I drank a ton of water, about 100-120 ounces a day. Now I just have a hard time remembering. I drink about 20 ounces a day now, sometimes. Sometimes I forget and all I have during the day is coffee and soda. That needs to change. I also forget to take my prenatal vitamin. So I don't even have that to help me out.
I know my habits are unhealthy, and I know what I need to do to change. It just has been so difficult. And I'm scared. I like my food. I like to keep eating and eating, it makes me feel good. Well, kinda. It also makes me feel like a fat pig with no self-control. But it tastes good. Kinda. Well, normally it doesn't taste good because we can't afford good food right now. So why am I eating it?
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